What Am I Pursuing?

I am so prone to see where I fall short, and where I need to improve. I often have to take a step back to get the big picture. I have to distinguish the difference between pursuing growth and pursuing God. When I pursue Him, growth is inevitable. As I focus on Him, He changes me in all the right ways.

I wrote this poem a couple years ago, but never posted it. When I read it the other day, it was still so true to my life, and I was encouraged to keep my eyes on Him!

Pursue God

When I pursue growth, my eyes are on me,
All I can see are my inadequacies.

When I pursue God, my eyes are on His face,
He is patient, loving, strong, and full of grace.

My hope is made new and joy overflows
I can live differently, I'm weak but He knows.

I don't want my past to be marked with discontentment and strife,
At how I was never good enough in all areas of my life.

At the same time I know I'll see the beauty that was made,
While I took care of my children and they laughed and played.

I know that my life has been abundantly blessed,
That there's so much beauty in the midst of my mess.

Yet it's hard to let go and be okay with where I am at,
Know God is working in me, and leave it at that.

I want to somehow embrace the natural tension of running a race,
But doing it with a heart filled with peace NOW because of His grace.

My goal shouldn't be to "be a better me",
The peace comes when I lift my eyes up, and His face is all I see.

His yoke is easy and His burden is light,
I need to rest in Him, not strive to do everything right.

I need to simply live and let Him work through me,
Getting my eyes off myself is how I will clearly see.

And then as I look back on all of my days,
Instead of regret about how I felt, my mouth will be filled with His praise!

(Rachel Ranae 1.20.14)

Listening to worshipful music almost always helps me to get my eyes off myself and lifts me. The kids and I have been learning this song. I love all "Shane and Shane" songs :)

(If receiving this via email, click on the title of this post to view the video.)

Like Walking on Water

At times I am full of faith and overflowing with love as I take care of my six children. Then I have moments when fear creeps in and tries to overwhelm me...

"How am I going to do all that needs to be done? Am I giving each child the attention they need? What kind of world are my kids growing up in? Will they love the Lord Jesus?"

It's in those moments that I feel like Peter walking on the water. I have all this faith to step out of the boat to do the impossible, because I know He's calling me. Then I see the wind. I become afraid and start sinking. I cry out, "Lord, save me!" He immediately reaches out His hand and catches me.

I need to keep my eyes focused on Him. It was when Peter saw the wind, that he became afraid and started to sink. I don't want to be distracted by fear, and let faith give way to doubt. However, I'm thankful that when I do, I can call on Him. He always catches me.

I am passionate about being a mom. God has helped me to see the immeasurable value there is in the ministry of motherhood...in loving children. I want to do His will, knowing that He provides what I need. I must have faith in His abilities. It's not about what I'm capable of, it's about my willingness to surrender. As I release control, as I let go of fear, as I lay my life down and open my hands - God fills me, meets me, ministers to me, and revives me. He flows through me, and I get to be a vessel of His life and love to the people around me. What could be better than that?

Love Came Down

When I was walking through a very difficult time in my life, it was hard to see what God was doing in the moment. I had to continually speak the truth to myself and believe Him, no matter what I was feeling.

This is a well known verse from Lamentations-
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness."

Here are some of the verses surrounding that one...
"my soul is bereft of peace; I have forgotten what happiness is; so I say, 'My endurance has perished; so has my hope from the LORD"...But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. 'The LORD is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I will hope in Him.' The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD." (Lam. 3:17-18, 21-26 ESV)

Today God flooded me with memories of his faithfulness to my family through great hardship and trials that He allowed us to experience. I shared them with a new friend. As the words and stories left my lips, tears crept up in my eyes. Faith filled my heart as I remembered His goodness. I will declare that His love is great. His mercies never end. He is faithful. He was faithful then, and He's faithful to me today. I do have hope.

This song is extremely significant to me. I hope it blesses you today.
(If receiving this via email, click on the title of this post to view the video.)