I Like Adoption

This is a BEAUTIFUL family...
New Film Premiere - I Like Adoption. from ILikeGiving.com

Caine's Arcade

I love this story for a few reasons.  Watch these videos...kids will enjoy them as well :)



I love that Nirvan saw this boy and took time to engage. He wasn't in a hurry, only caring about his own needs. So often it seems like everyone is rushed, and people are too self absorbed to notice others...very often kids. I know I let this happen at times.

I also like it when people are just doing what they love with humility and diligence, and get rewarded like this.

Check out Part 2...



Another reason I love this story, is that it shows how awesome kids are. The have amazing imaginations. They just need the time and supplies. When kids are rushed around too much, and overly entertained, they don't have the time and energy to create. We need to give them time and space...and let our houses get messy if need be. I like this quote from Albert Einstein. "Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world."

I don't want to live life in a hurry. 

I want to engage with the people around me, and encourage my kids as they use their imaginations!  

My Sweet Baby Boy

On December 11th my baby will be 11 weeks old! 

I've been blessed with the face of another amazing little boy. 

No matter how many babies I have, it never gets old. 

I'm captivated every time by the beauty and miracle of these tiny little fingers and toes.

Nurturing children is certainly not easy. In fact God has used motherhood to grow and stretch me in more ways than I can count. It challenges me on every level-physically, mentally, and spiritually. Because of that, I have learned to cling all the more to the Lord. I recognize that if I want to raise these children well, for His glory, with real love, I must depend on Him for everything! "And my God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus."~Philippians 4:19 ESV

I am truly thankful for each child He has given me. I am so grateful for His love for me and my family. I am not a perfect mother, but He is a perfect Father. My hope is in Him!

Love this smiley guy!!!

Lincoln & Thanksgiving

I enjoy learning about history. I love people's stories. The kids and I have been learning about Abraham Lincoln, who I find very interesting!

I recently read this part of the Thanksgiving Proclamation written by Abraham Lincoln:

"Now, therefore, I , Abraham Lincoln, President of the United States, do hereby appoint and set apart the last Thursday in November next as a day which I desire to be observed by all my fellow-citizens, wherever they may be then, as a day of thanksgiving and praise to Almighty God, the beneficent Creator and Ruler of the Universe. And I do further recommend to my fellow-citizens aforesaid, that on the occasion they do reverently humble themselves in the dust, and from thence offer up penitent and fervent prayers and supplications to the great Disposer of events for a return of the inestimable blessing of peace, union and harmony throughout the land which it has pleased Him to assign as a dwelling-place for ourselves and for our posterity throughout all generations." ~Oct. 3, 1863
(Click here to see the complete Thanksgiving Proclamation.)

*To put it simply, Thanksgiving was meant to be a day of thanks-giving, praise to God, humble repentance, and fervent prayer. I want to embrace that today. Really...every day!*

My husband and I recently saw the movie "Lincoln". It's amazing to me how quickly things have changed. It's hard to imagine that all of that took place only around 150 years ago! Some things have greatly improved, and some things have terribly declined. It was very thought provoking.

The "Lincoln" movie trailer:

Project 119 ~ Light the Path

I'm so excited to share my daughter's new adventure in giving!!!
She has started a campaign through "Gospel for Asia".  Would you consider donating?

Check it out here:

Project 119 ~ Light the Path

 "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path."

~Psalm 119:105~

Prepare by Giving

I am so thankful that my husband has never been without a job. We have always had everything we need for our family...and more. Recently I was thinking about how that may not always be the case. I was also imagining what it would be like if the economy collapsed, and everything I'm accustomed to having access to, wasn't available anymore.

This isn't something I'd linger on too long. I don't often find it helpful to think of "what if" scenarios. However, it made me think about the unbelievable number of people all around the world who are in desperate need. Already. Today. If I were in dire need someday, and so were most of the people around me, how would I feel looking back? Maybe I will never be in that position, but I will stand before God someday. How will I feel then?

I think I would be grieved that I had not given more, when I had more to give.

If I put myself in the shoes of a mother holding her hungry child, all of the sudden I WANT TO GIVE. Not just because "I should". Not simply to quench the guilty feeling. God's command to give comes alive in my heart, and my desire becomes His. "I will run in the way of your commandments when You enlarge my heart!" (Psalm 119:32 ESV)  I want that so badly.

As I was considering how to prepare for possible hard times, I was reminded of this scripture: "Whoever closes his ear to the cry of the poor will himself call out and not be answered." (Proverbs 21:13 ESV) I felt like the Lord told me to prepare by giving. Give now. Give abundantly. Especially to those in very desperate need.

He wants me to trust Him to take care of my needs. My future needs. "I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth." (Psalm 121:1-2 ESV)

If I am in communion with my Heavenly Father, He will be preparing me for what the future holds. I've seen Him do this for me before. He is always faithful. I just have to keep my eyes on Him, be in prayer, and be obedient. He will walk this life with me step by step and show me what to do.


For about a month my daughter has been wanting to give money to an organization that is doing what they call the "Christmas Shoe Project". Shoes are provided for kids who live in extremely dirty places. They will keep them from getting terrible infections that can lead to more serious complications.  We've been casually collecting money. It costs $3.60 for one pair of shoes. After what God put on my heart, I thought, "What am I waiting for?" So last night our family gathered enough money to buy 10 pairs of shoes. My kids were SO EXCITED! You should've seen the look on their faces. It made me think of the children's faces who will receive the shoes. Such joy on both ends! I love it.

Here are some more scriptures to ponder:

"...he who is generous to the needy honors Him." -Prov. 14:31b ESV
 
"The generous will themselves be blessed, for they share their food with the poor." -Prov. 22:9 NIV
   
"One pretends to be rich, yet has nothing;
another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth." -Prov. 13:7 ESV

Today I am enjoying finding ways to give...big or small.  My daughter and I spent the morning brainstorming. I'll be excited to share some updates with you on that.

LittleOnes

Originally, this was one of the "pages" on my blog. However, I didn't end up keeping a running list. I decided to make it a "post" instead. I added some recent photos of my 5 precious little ones...

Oh little people! I think sometimes us "big people" forget that children are indeed people. Complete people...just in a little package :) When I choose to, I see so many wonderful things about them. Things to admire, things to enjoy, things to learn from, and mostly...people to be loved. They make me laugh.

So, I decided it would be fun to keep a running list of all kinds of things I observe about "LittleOnes".  I find that I am easily prone to see the negative aspects of people. When I look for the good, it stirs up joy and cultivates gratitude in my heart. That's what I want! Sometimes even the same action, if looked at from a different angle, can bring joy and laughter verses irritation and harsh words.

1. They love finding things in nature...rocks, shells, leaves, sticks. They are amazed at the uniqueness of each one. They must keep them all...these "treasures".
2. I was in a parking lot at the mall and I overhead a young boy say with such excitement, "California!" as he noticed a license plate from there. It made me smile.
3. Whenever I pick up my toddler, he sees a whole new world at which he must experience! "Light!" at the switch, and he must flip it. As he sees that his action actually changes something, he beams, "I did it!" He must open the microwave, the freezer...anything!
4. They are so blessed by gifts, even if you only drew them a picture.
5. They love to give gifts, even if it's only a picture :) I love them!
6. They don't give a second thought to their appearance.
7. My toddler reaches his little arms up to me and says, "I want to hold you!"

Adopted

I love the way these two women: Katie (Kisses from Katie) & Adeye (No Greater Joy Mom), express the heart of God through adoption. They are an amazing display of the love of God in human flesh. I'm not elevating them as people. Without Him, they wouldn't be doing what they are doing with such love and grace. They are simply brave enough to trust and follow God in ways many of us wouldn't dare. I'm inspired by them, to surrender my plans for His. To walk by faith and not by sight.

I recently read these blog posts, which are beautiful and worth the read.
Click on the orange title to read:
Kisses from Katie ~about brokenness, redemption, fear, hope...so good
No Greater Joy Mom ~This post is about Adeye's recent visit with the daughter she's waiting to bring home from Bulgaria. She's 14 years old and has lived her entire life in a crib; starved, neglected, and rejected. She weighs a mere 20 pounds! Sounds impossible, but it's true.

So many orphans have been broken by this corrupt world. They've developed dysfunctional behaviors in an effort to cope, or because they don't know anything different. They have a hard time recognizing and receiving real love. They may push their new parents away, be afraid of them, have a hard time trusting them, etc. And yet, Katie and Adeye continue to love. They don't abandon the children they've adopted.

It struck me how in some ways I'm not much different than one of these children. How has sin broken me? How have my wounds and idols caused me not to trust? Trust this amazing, good and kind Father, who has proven Himself faithful to me time and again. Why am I still afraid? Why am I still clinging to things to feel secure?

I am so thankful for His unfailing, patient love. He is breaking through. His love is accomplishing freedom in my life! I am learning the language of true love. I'm learning to trust, to be brave, to let go. I know His love is big enough to overwhelm my fears...for Him to heal my deepest wounds.

This song embraces my hope in Him to redeem!
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Fish Love vs. Real Love

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Watch the video to understand what "fish love" means.  So funny and so true!

Here's some of what the video says about real love:
To love is to give. It's not about you. If you truly give, not in order to receive, not in exchange or with expectations, or because if you won't you're going to be punished...

If you simply give, in order to give, because you truly want to give, something inside of you wants to give, then the giving itself is your reward.

Love is not a means to an end, it's the end itself.

He Lifts Me as I Worship Him

I started school with my kids that past Tuesday. I had hoped to have my house totally organized, and my lesson plans for the week completely laid out. Well...it wasn't quite like that. My homeschool closet was still a mess, my desk a disaster, sink full of dishes, books all over the living room floor, etc. But I had been telling them we were starting that day. It was more important to me to keep that date, than to have everything "perfect".

I had been mentally preparing for this day. I read some wonderful things that encouraged the perspectives I want to keep at the forefront of my mind. I had purchased all the kids' books and had a great planner. I just hadn't gotten all the external organizing done.

I definitely want to have our things in order. I can see how that would greatly benefit us. However, my peace and patience must not depend on everything being "just right". I knew that the most important things that would matter that day were my attitude, a heart full of love, and keeping the bigger picture in sight.

The songs He gave me definitely played an important role in giving me a proper perspective. Music has always been one of the major ways that God has ministered to me. I love to worship Him by singing songs of praise. As I do that, He blesses me right back. Perhaps it's because I'm looking to Him, and the result is hope and peace that goes beyond my understanding. When I focus on His greatness and His goodness, I am comforted.

God met me in such a beautiful way last week, and it encouraged me for the days and weeks ahead. If anyone had come to my house on our first official day of school, they probably would have thought, "wow...this is a disaster". But in reality, it was an awesome day! I felt victorious. My heart was at peace. I had patience and understanding for my kids, even amongst the external chaos. We had a great day learning together. I think I'm going to have to start all my days singing His praise and dancing with my kids!

I LOVE THIS SONG (and the way it ends):
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THIS IS NOT THE END!

Sometimes the best medicine for my heart, is to sing the truth as loud as I can.
This song brought me tears of joy this morning. The kids and I have been dancing around singing it!

This is not the End:
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What Was His Name?

Last night my husband and I were trying to remember the names of our grandfathers. Both of mine had died when my parents were young children, so I never met them. I knew my dad's father's name right away, but only hours later did my mom's father's name come to me. My husband couldn't remember his dad's father's name. When his parents came over for dinner, we asked them. Then they were trying to brainstorm their grandparent's names! It made me think about how quickly I will be forgotten by future generations.

"As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field; for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more. But the steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children's children, to those who keep His covenant and remember to do His commandments." ~ Psalm 103:15-18

I'm fine with my name being forgotten. I have a spiritual legacy that I hope will scream the name of Jesus! That's what I want to leave behind...His glory.

Everyone's choices (remembered or not) effect the people growing up under them. I want to pass on a spiritual legacy of blessing to my children.

This can go beyond our own family lines. We can be God's instruments in blessing other families' future generations. I hope to reach out to others who have never witnessed the love of Jesus in their families. Perhaps they can be the first of their known family members to pass on a beautiful spiritual heritage.

Future generations will reap what I sow. I like this song by Sara Groves:
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"I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live, loving the LORD your God, obeying His voice and holding fast to Him, for He is your life and length of days..." ~Deut. 30:19, 20 ESV

Why Do I Matter?

What if no one needed me? Would I still feel like my life was significant?
My worth isn't in my abilities. My value isn't measured by how useful I am.

My life matters because I was created by an amazing God, with purpose. I am not an accident, and neither is anyone else...even if their parents didn't plan them.

I'm not significant because I am a mother, however my role as a mother is significant. There really is a huge difference!

I see the importance and value in this ministry of motherhood that God has entrusted to me. I'm passionate about living it out well. But I want my motivation to always be His glory, not my own. I don't want to do it so that I feel important. If that's my goal, what happens if my kids don't turn out the way I'd like them to? What happens when they don't "need" me anymore?

I don't want to try to make something of myself. I want to bring honor to the One who made me. "For by Him (Jesus) all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible...all things were created through Him and for Him." (Col. 1:16 ESV)

There's actually a lot of freedom in letting go of personal agendas. Once I do that, my hands are open to receive what He has for me. And no matter what that looks like to human eyes, nothing could be more valuable. Real peace can make its home in my heart, because I'm not motivated by selfish desires, which are NEVER satisfied! I'm motivated by the love of God, which is a gift. As I give out of that, I am continually given more. My heart is satisfied in Him.

Trying to make myself important will only make me a slave to other people and things.
Recognizing that I'm significant (because I was made by and for Him), will free me up to be a servant of God. I'll be able to love earnestly from a pure heart. I will be able to leave the results up to Him, without trying to control people or circumstances.

Ready or Not!

The other night my father-in-law asked me if I was "ready for number 5". I said, "Well...ready or not, he's coming!" I smiled and laughed. I don't feel like there's really any way to be totally ready for having a baby, and I'm not just talking about labor. Of course there's a few practical things I can do, and I will. But with each child there are many unknowns, and so much is out of my control. Even the things I'm pretty sure will happen, I can't prepare for.

The next morning I was browsing some of my earlier posts on this blog. A couple in particular stood out to me, and helped me focus. To read, click below:

"He Sustains Us"
"The Future"

Really, my plan is to trust the Lord and walk in patience and love as this transition takes place. I am genuinely thrilled to meet this little boy I feel wriggling around inside me all the time. I can't wait to see his sweet face and kiss him all over! I'm trying to focus on that, knowing that God will be with me, and strengthen me just like He always has...and currently is!

I guess just like anything in life, I'm preparing by keeping my eyes on Jesus!

Productive or Just Busy?

I want to be productive, not just busy...there's a big difference! The other day I was vacuuming my couch with the hose attachment, and then proceeded immediately to vacuum my rug. All of the sudden I realized that I was holding the hose in one hand, while pushing the vacuum with the other. That was pretty pointless. The main vacuum doesn't suck anything up unless the hose is attached to it. Basically, I was busy accomplishing nothing! Or you could say, busy wasting time. Why? In that moment I was distracted. I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing. My mind wasn't clear.

I don't want to live my life like that. Not for myself, my husband, children, friends...whoever God brings into my life! I want to be productive in the life that God has for me. I want to be intentional and focused.

I am the mother to five children (one not out of the womb yet...but I feel his presence :) For me, sometimes the most productive thing I could be doing is sitting with one of my kids, looking them in the eyes, and listening to their thoughts. Other times it's to scrub the kitchen floor and fold lots of laundry. Maybe it's to be still, rest, or pray. It could be to drop what I'm doing to visit a friend, write a letter, or deliver a cup of coffee. There's no specific "list of productivity". To me, it really comes down to knowing the Lord, and walking in accordance with His Spirit.

Productivity can't always be measured, or seen with our eyes. If I fold a bunch of laundry and put it away, I will notice how clean my laundry room is and how full the drawers are. On the other hand, if I sit down and read to my kids for 30 minutes, no one will actually see that I've done anything. However I will have just invested in my children's hearts and minds.

When I looked up synonyms for productive, the words fertile, fruitful, and effective were listed. I want my heart to be fertile ground to the seeds that God plants, and my actions to bear good fruit. I desire to be effective in His kingdom today. I want to be aware of all the opportunities He has for me, whether seemingly insignificant, or bigger than I could imagine! I want to be productive in things seen, but more importantly, things invisible.

"...what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal" -2 Cor. 4:18 NIV

Avoiding the Rush

I've been finding it helpful to sketch a plan out for my day.
Little tip that works for me: Plan the day backwards.

I start with what time I want to be having dinner, and then work towards the morning. I have found that doing this helps me be realistic with what I can accomplish. When I see what I want to do, and then lay it out in an order of time, it helps guide my day.

I have been trying to minimize my list of things to do so that I am not rushed, and have time to enjoy things with my kids. I have also learned that it's okay not to accomplish everything I've planned. I am not a slave to a list! The list is for my convenience. I hold my plans loosely, so that if an opportunity arises that I didn't see coming, but I think would be good to do, I can enjoy doing that...no guilt.

Yesterday was a good example. I made a list that morning. I knew what I wanted to accomplish. The kids and I were about to head off to the library and then the grocery store to get a few things. But then Grandma showed up. Oh, how we love Grandma! Because I had already thought about the day, I knew what I could switch around, and what I could let go of. I asked her if she'd like to try a new coffee place we'd found, go to this cute shop to look for a picture frame, and then go to the store. She said yes, and we had so much fun...especially at the grocery store!

Grandma with the kids

This grocery store, which we don't usually go to, has miniature carts. The kids just love this! I've never taken all of them there, and let them each have a cart. But we weren't in a hurry...and Grandma was with us. They just so happened to be passing out samples everywhere that day. It was like a carnival.

Anyways, it was so much fun. We enjoyed spending extra time with Grandma. And we wouldn't have been able to do this, or at least enjoy doing it, if we had been rushed!

The Caves of My Soul

Our air conditioning went out on one of the hottest days of summer! We were tired of sitting around the house, but didn't really want to go outside in the heat either. So we decided that it would be a good day to visit a cave! It's 50 degrees year round :) We drove over an hour to go to "Cave of the Mounds". The kids were super excited!

I don't think I've ever been in a cave before. It was really interesting. However, at one point it got very narrow and closed in. I had no idea I would feel a little claustrophobic! I had to talk myself through it. Like, "It'll be fine. It's a tour. I'm sure I couldn't get stuck, or we won't have to crawl through anything. If the electricity goes out, they probably have a generator or something. I'll be fine." I was reminded of Dori from Nemo, "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming." I kept moving forward, knowing everything would be okay...even if I didn't feel okay! I would make it through.

My husband had recorded this exact part of our little journey. Here's a short clip. You can hear me say, "Oh my." Yeah...that's when I started quoting Dori in my head :)



I couldn't help but think about places like this in my soul. These deep, dark, unknown places. Unknown to me, anyways. But my Guide knows them all too well. He knows exactly what's down there. And He's not scared. He wants me to go there with Him...to trust Him. He's so gentle and kind in His leading. He patiently and lovingly walks me through the places of my soul where He wants to make me whole. Whether it's a wound that needs healing, or a sin that must be overcome. He's there. I have to trust Him. I have to be brave and follow Him. Otherwise I will get lost inside myself. He is light, and without Him I can't see.

a picture from our adventure in the cave

That same day I read a prayer that hangs on my wall. I had written it out and framed it for my husband for his birthday...back when I was 19 years old.  It comes from "My Utmost for His Highest". It says:

"O Lord, You are the God of the early mornings, the God of the late nights, the God of the mountain peaks, and the God of the sea. But, my God, my soul has horizons further away than those of early mornings, deeper darkness than the nights of earth, higher peaks than any mountain peaks, greater depths than any sea in nature. You who are the God of all these, be my God. I cannot reach to the heights or to the depths; there are motives I cannot discover, dreams I cannot realize. My God, search me."

Facebook Version of Jesus

Yesterday my husband was on Facebook and saw that a bunch of people were wishing his dad a "Happy Birthday". That's sweet and all...but it wasn't his birthday! His Facebook shows his birthday as July 1st, but it's actually June 1st. Jokingly, my husband said, "Well, I guess he'll find out who his real friends are!"

This was a perfect example of something that has been floating around in my mind lately. Sometimes we have connections with people through Facebook (that we don't actually spend much time with personally), and we kind of build a picture of who they are from what's on their page. We take these bits and pieces, photos and quotes, add our own perspectives, and form an image of them in our minds. Perhaps some of what we think is right, but we can also be way off.

We can also take bits and pieces of what we know about Jesus, and then fill in the gaps with who we think He is or should be. We don't always want to conform our lives to Him, but rather fit Him comfortably into our lives. However, unless we really know Him...believe what the Word of God says about Him, and walk this life with Him...we can be worshiping a "Facebook" version of Jesus.

I don't want to make my own version of Jesus. I'm sure I've done this, and I have to continue to be in His word and believe what it says...no matter what I feel or think, or other people tell me. I want to worship the one true God. I don't want to make an idol and name Him Jesus!

I want to know the real Jesus who laid down His life for me, and rose again to give me life abundantly! I want to follow Him, trust Him, and glorify Him. I want to know His voice, His promptings, His plans for me. The Bible says, "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." (Eph. 2:10 ESV) I don't want to live my life and just add "Jesus" to it, I want to live surrendered to His will for me. I want to live the reason I was created!

If I want to live for Him, I have to know Him...have a real relationship with Him.

photo credit

Suffering...a road to blessing?

On a recent post I said that I don't desire suffering. Honestly, I don't. However, there are beautiful things that I believe only come through it. Through suffering, I have gotten to know my Savior, my Healer, in ways I wouldn't otherwise. God has done deep things in my soul that wouldn't have been accomplished any other way.

Butterfly resting on SweetHeart's hand

Do I dare call suffering...a road to blessing? It doesn't mean that I desire it any more than I desire to go through the labor pains of child birth. But I do desire the life that is brought about through it, because of Him. And He always heals.

I don't have to seek out suffering, but I don't need to be afraid of it, or avoid it at all costs.

I read this today in "My Utmost for His Highest" (one of my favorite devotionals):

"As a saint of God, my attitude toward sorrow and difficulty should not be to ask that they be prevented, but to ask that God protect me so that I remain what He created me to be, in spite of all my fires of sorrow. We say that there ought to be no sorrow, but there is sorrow, and we have to accept and receive ourselves in its fires. If we try to evade sorrow, refusing to deal with it, we are foolish. Sorrow is one of the biggest facts in life, and there is no use in saying it should not be. Sin, sorrow, and suffering are, and it is not for us to say that God has made a mistake in allowing them. Sorrow removes a great deal of a person's shallowness, but it does not always make that person better. Suffering either gives me to myself or it destroys me...
If you will receive yourself in the fires of sorrow, God will make you nourishment for other people."

I know I'm reiterating things from previous posts, but I need to remind myself of things over and over! I hope that if you are reading this in the midst of suffering, that you will look to Jesus...that you're suffering may not be in vain! May you grow in greater intimacy with Him, and be transformed.

The One You Need

My Dad showed me that Jesus is the One I need. He loves a good song, as do I, so...

Watch this brief video about the song...important message about true love.  
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Listen to the song here...

My Own Worst Enemy

Sometimes I'm my own worst enemy! I lie to myself about how good or bad I am. I torture myself about what others may think of me..."Did they understand me? Do they like me? What do they see in me? Hopefully only the best of me!"

Do I want to be a vessel of God's love and encouragement to others? Yes!
Do I want others to admire me, or to see Jesus in me? See Jesus!
Do I want to see the reality about who I am, with Jesus, and work out my salvation? Yes!

Then I must FIX my eyes on Him! When I'm consumed with Him I don't have time to stare at myself in complete confusion, frustration, and despair.

Wondering what others think...
First of all, who knows what others think? I am not a mind reader. So if my imagination is what's guiding me, I'm bound to be misguided to begin with. More importantly, I don't live to please people. I live to please the Lord! People are so different and so fickle. Living so that others will like me is like being on a terrible roller coaster ride. One moment I'm puffed up feeling proud and self-righteous, then the next, plunging into worry and anxiety. There's nothing good about it, because it is not God's way.

When I spend my days acknowledging the Lord with thanksgiving, singing songs of praise, meditating on His word, I'm actually doing what I was made to do. Then, without much thought of myself, I will be a vessel of His love, uplifting others. Lord willing, they will see Jesus in me, and desire Him. I will see the truth about Jesus, and the truth about myself. Then with a humble, hopeful heart, I will submit to Him in repentance and bask in the glory of His love!

Such freedom! Such peace!

And even if I do all this...
People may misunderstand me and dislike me. Some will understand me, and still not like me. I have to be okay with that. That is tied to pride and I need to let it go!

"Deliver me from my enemies, O LORD! I have fled to You for refuge! Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God! Let Your good Spirit lead me on level ground!" - Psalm 143:9-11 ESV

We're having a...

We like to find out if we're having a boy or girl, before the baby arrives. It's fun to have a special gathering with family, and find out together. They get to see our expressions and excitement...we get to see theirs'. So we have the ultrasound technician write it down and put it in an envelope. Then we come up with a plan to find out the surprise.

This time, we gave the envelope to my husband's brother and his wife. I had them get five helium balloons, one to represent each of our children. So there would be at least one pink one, and three blue ones. Then there would be an additional pink or blue one depending on what this new baby is.

I had them put the balloons in a big basket. Our kids helped us open it up, and...

ANOTHER BOY! I was surprised. Most of us were :)

As hard and challenging as it is to be a mom, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT! I am thrilled to welcome another little boy into our family. I truly feel blessed. I am also full of gratitude for my husband, who is so good to me, and is one awesome dad!

Beautiful Song ~ Image of God

I just heard this for the first time today, and wanted to share. So beautiful.

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Floodgates of Fear

There are times when I feel like I'm holding back floodgates of fear. It seems, if I let even a trickle in, it will make way for a river to overwhelm me completely. I don't want even "little" thoughts carelessly wandering around in my mind. So I have to focus. I have to intentionally recognize those things, and give them to the Lord. Submit my thoughts to Him.

It doesn't have to be drawn out. It may only take a moment, and then I simply behold who my great God is. Keep my eyes on Him. My Strength. My Rock. My Fortress. My Deliverer. My Shield. My Stronghold. He will still the raging waters. I cannot hold them back in my own strength.

One thing in particular that seems to come to mind, sometimes in the midst of complete fun with my family, is fearing the next hardship we may face. It's like I hear,"You're having so much fun! This can't last too long. Suffering will soon be on it's way!" I hate that. I just want to enjoy these moments, this season.

I will accept suffering, however I don't desire or long for it. I only long for my Lord. He is with me always...in good times and bad. I want to rest in that. TRUST HIM! And I want to fully enjoy this season in which my family is having much fun together, without fear whispering in my ear!

I want to be content in all circumstances. I hear the words of Paul, "...I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." - (Philippians 4:11-13 ESV)

I must not forget the secret of contentment---I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. I can embrace happiness. I can embrace suffering...all because I am embracing Him! He loves me. Perfect love casts out all fear!

Continue Steadfastly in Prayer!

A few days ago I decided to be more diligent and focused in spending time in prayer and reading my Bible. I had been letting laziness and distraction keep me from really pressing in to Him. So I've been getting up early with only my Bible and a notebook to write my prayers. No iPad (which so easily leads me down abstract paths), and no other books. It was so refreshing! I gave Him my thoughts on paper, and received His living word to my soul! I wanted to share one special thing that came out of my quiet time with Him.

Something that's been on my heart, is praying for my children...beyond the little night time prayers. I mean, intercession on their behalf. Doing battle for them in the unseen realm! If I actually believe in the power of prayer, than why on earth don't I pray? Why am I so passive about it?

Part of it is being subtly distracted. What a clever tool of the enemy.

Part of it is that I don't fully recognize or understand the power of prayer.

And sometimes I just don't know where to begin. I don't take the time to quiet myself, and really pray from my heart. I end up with "Please keep them healthy and safe and don't let anything bad happen to them." There isn't anything wrong with praying for good health and safety, but there is so much more! And bad things are bound to happen. I want to go deeper. I want to pray according the the Spirit of God.

So I was reading in Colossians the last few mornings. I took an orange pen and highlighted everything I could pray for my children (really anyone for that matter). It was wonderful. I put all those verses together, and modified them into a prayer. I read it when I was done, and was thrilled! It felt like such an important, relevant, and meaningful prayer. I want to start praying the Word over everyone!

It's not always "easy" to pray, but I won't let that stop me. In Colossians 4:12 Paul mentions someone named Epaphras who was "...always struggling on your behalf in his prayers, that you may stand mature and fully assured in all the will of God." I will struggle in prayer on the behalf of others for that same reason.

My prayer from Colossians, written for my children:

Father, I ask that my children would be filled with the knowledge of Your will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of You, fully pleasing to You, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of You. May they be strengthened with all power, according to Your glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to You.

Deliver them from the domain of darkness and transfer them to the kingdom of Your beloved Son. I pray that they would continue in the faith, stable and steadfast, not shifting from the hope of the gospel that they have heard. Make known to them the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in them, the hope of glory.

May their hearts be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God's mystery, which is Christ in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. I will rejoice to see their good order and the firmness of their faith in Christ.

I pray that they would receive Christ Jesus the Lord, and so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, just as they are taught, abounding in thanksgiving. May no one take them captive by philosophy and empty deceit. I pray that they would be made alive together with Him, and forgiven of all their trespasses. May they seek the things that are above, not on things that are on earth.

I pray that they would put to death what is earthly in them; sexual immorality, impurity, evil desire, and covetousness. That they would put away all anger, wrath, malice, slander, lying and obscene talk from their mouths. I pray that they would put off the old self, and put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its Creator.

May they wear compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as You have forgiven them, so they also must forgive. And above all these, I pray that they would put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. Let the peace of Christ rule in their hearts. May they be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in them richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing songs, with thankfulness in their hearts to You. And whatever they do, in word or deed, may they do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to You through Him.

I pray that they would be obedient, for this pleases You. May they stand mature and fully assured in all Your will, and fulfill the ministry that You have for them.

In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen.

"Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving."  (Col. 4:2 ESV)

I'll Remember Her

Yesterday SweetHeart and I went to a "Girls in the Garden" gathering. We brought my mother-in-law, and my mom's mother, who are wonderful gifts from God. I'm so glad that my children have them. I didn't really let myself think about the fact that "someone was missing". I just delighted in who was there. But at the end of our time at the garden, there was a program. Someone announced that a mother and daughter would be singing, "Remember Me". Tears came down my face before they even started singing it. That song is all too familiar to me. After my mom died, my boyfriend and I made a slideshow video to play at her funeral. That was the song we put in it.

I feel like God wants me to really remember my mom. Not just remember her mentally, but let myself open the chambers of my heart that miss, that love, that desire.  I don't do that often. He's been providing little opportunities for me to do that. It actually feels good.

My mom passed away on April 24th, 2000. I was 19 years old. Thankfully my best friend who would become my husband, was with me through it all. She's not a stranger to him. I am glad for that. I remember sitting on her bed with her, listening to a cd that my boyfriend and I had made for her (Fernando Ortega & Bebo Norman were on there). She loved it. She asked me if I thought I'd marry him...I think she knew what I'd say. We were engaged 3 months after she died.

My mom loved to worship God with song. I can picture her swaying back and forth, tambourine in one hand, the other raised straight up to Him. I'm just like her when it comes to loving Jesus, and singing my heart out to Him!

I lived with my mom from the ages of 15-19. I am so thankful to have had that time with her, however I never really reached "friend" status with her. That is an unfulfilled desire of mine...to be friends with my mom. She loved to sit and have coffee and just talk. About life. About Jesus. I love to do the same. One of the things that I have of hers is a little wooden table that sits in front of my kitchen window. I can just picture us sitting there together, having coffee, her grandchildren running around. She would've LOVED being a grandma!!! I miss not sharing their precious lives with her.

So those are my random thoughts this Mother's Day morning. It feels good to just remember and think of those few things. I love my mom, and I genuinely believe that I will see her again.

Here's the video we played at her funeral:
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God Doesn't Need Me

God doesn't need me. God doesn't "need" anything! He is all-powerful, all-knowing, omnipresent...He has no limits! God doesn't need to have a relationship with me to feel more complete. He doesn't need me to work for Him. He plain and simple...is glorious!

I know this analogy won't be perfect, that's kind of hard to do when you are talking about an amazing God, but I think there's some truth here...

I was thinking about how having children doesn't make me any more of a person than someone without children. I don't need my children. However, they are a manifestation of love, and I do indeed love them! I want to know them and they want to know me. When I am doing something they want to be right beside me, being a part of my work.

Do I need them to help me make pancakes? No. But I absolutely love to let them help. In our working together, we are growing closer, my children are being trained, and great blessings come through this.

My kids love to help make food, they usually enjoy helping one another, and they don't even mind running around to get things for me. The one thing they really do not like doing, is cleaning up their messes. Funny enough, that's actually one of the most helpful things they could do.

Being a part of the work that God is doing is a wonderful privilege. I will humbly remember that God doesn't "need" me, I am the one who needs Him. He has designed things to be the way they are for a reason. He lets His little children be vessels through which He accomplishes His incredible works.

He delights in our love, displayed through our obedience to Him.

I don't ever want to try to serve Him in a way that merely satisfies me, but walk in obedience...even if it's to clean up a mess I don't want to!

The "Little" Stuff

Got His First Library Card!

"Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what. If you don't listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won't tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff." ~ Catherine M. Wallace

I See His Fingerprints

I didn't have an ideal childhood. Most of my earliest memories are sad. My family was "broken", and I was wounded. I've been remembering some specific hurts recently, and know that God is still working healing in my life. The memories do not bring up anger or bitterness, but there's still pain. So I will go to Him and ask Him for wisdom about what to do with it. I know that He will heal me.

Above all the junk...above all the confusion and pain...what God has allowed me to see more than anything else in my childhood...are His fingerprints. Not that He orchestrated those things, but that He loved me through them. He protected me in many ways.

About a year ago I was praying, and was thanking God for always being with me. Specifically I was speaking of the previous year that I had experienced, which was the most difficult of my adult life. But as soon as I said those words, I felt like He whispered to me, "I've always been with you." I cried as I saw myself as a little girl, being loved by Him so sweetly. In the midst of all the chaos, He never ceased drawing me near to Him. It amazes me. I have been so blessed.

I would never wish that I had a different mom and dad. They were not perfect, and mistakes were made. But you know what I took away above all their junk? I knew they loved me, and I could see their love for Jesus. It was messy...but real.

Dash's hand on mine

I am blessed that God gave me to them. I am blessed that He drew me so close to Himself. I'm thankful that none of my suffering needs to be wasted. All of it can be used for His glory and my good...He's that awesome.

I'm glad I can see this now, as I am a parent. I absolutely love being a wife and a mother, and strive to be the best I can for my family. However, I am not perfect. I hope that more than my faults and failures, my kids will see my love for them and my love for Jesus. I pray that God will draw them near to Himself, as He did me, and that they will run to Him.

(Photo credit: Rachel Ranae)

Beauty in Every Stage

I want to embrace every stage of life...in each of my children's lives. There are always challenges no matter their age. There are also beautiful things to recognize and be thankful for, from infancy on up. If I focus only on the difficulties at hand, without seeing all the wonderful, it will breed discontentment and ingratitude. I don't believe that if they just grow out of "this stage" that my life will be easier. The next stage will have it's own set of difficulties. But if I live with that mindset, I will miss out on so much. They will grow up fast, and I will look back in regret.

For the most part, this is not that hard for me. But I think part of it is because I am thrilled to give my kids what I longed for so badly when I was their age. My mom left when I was about two years old. She was in and out of my life until I was about seven, and then she lived near me. I got to see her on weekends, and more in the summer. But I wanted to be with her all the time! Don't get me wrong, I loved being with my dad too. But I wanted both! My heart ached. I never got to know what it was like to live with both my mom and dad at the same time. I was way too young to remember when they did.

So last night, my husband and I had the three older kids sleep on an air mattress in our room...just for fun. They all wanted to cuddle with us for a bit, so they climbed into our bed giggling. We laughed and talked, and had fun thinking of antonyms and synonyms for silly words. It was great. And I soaked up every second. My husband asked each of the kids what their favorite part of the day was. BluEyes said that Jesus rose from the dead (so precious), and hide-and-seek at Grandma's. Then BigBrother said that Jesus rose from the dead, and the animal balloons he got to play with. SweetHeart said, right now. This. And I had to agree.

I find that just being with my kids, and loving them well, brings healing to my own soul. And I will choose to enjoy them as much possible. I won't be anxious for them to grow up, and I won't dread it either. I'll just be happy where we are. In each stage. Together.

Let Him Heal You

Let go of the walls of shame that isolate you and feed your fear. Shame tells you that you are uniquely and fatally flawed...no one else will understand. But if you can believe the truth and stop letting fear control you, healing and freedom will come. He will NEVER abandon you, no matter how dark or long the journey. He restores, mends, and heals. Praise God!

Hoarding Worthless Things

The house was filled with junk! My friend was one of the men hired to clean it out. They couldn't just throw everything away, they had to search for valuables amongst the trash. Things had been put in strange places. A ring was found in an old medicine bottle. A couple hundred dollars in a candy box.

The job took several weeks. You see, one of the owners had passed away, and the other was now in a nursing home. Their children needed to take care of the estate, but dare not venture into that house. You had to wear a mask just to go in.

The house had a few dozen cats in it. Seven were found dead. These animals had wrecked almost all of their belongings that actually had value. Besides that, their smell had soaked into everything. Only metal could be salvaged.

At one time the home owners were antique dealers. They had an eye for value. They collected some beautiful pieces. However they also began hoarding. Hoarding random things of no value to them or others.

There were lots of clothes and shoes, some never worn. Their bed was piled as high as possible with clothes. They definitely weren't sleeping in it. One of the kitchen drawers had hundreds of empty sugar packets in it. There were tons of empty ice cream cups from a fast food place, that had been washed and stacked. So some of their hoarding had been "organized", but how long can you organize trash that is taking over your life and your home?

My friend said that there were times he would have to leave the house just because of the emotional heaviness he was feeling. It was hard for him to imagine people living in these conditions. How could people who at one time collected what was valuable, and had purpose, let worthless things take over?

My friend had to ask himself...is this how God sees us?

Does He look at what we are "storing up" and grieve at the waste we find so valuable? Is our perspective skewed? Are we letting "stuff" take over? Do we let what actually has value, get ruined because we stop caring...being overwhelmed by what we have created?

"As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing  up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life." (1 Tim. 6:17-19 ESV)

I want to store up what cannot be seen. (2 Cor. 4:18)
Cannot be shaken. (Hebrews 12:27-29)
Cannot be burned. (1 Cor. 3:13)
Eternal treasures. (Matt. 2:20)

The Strength of my Heart

On three different occasions this past week, God gave me the opportunity to share about the trials and triumphs my family experienced in recent years. As I spoke I found myself near tears, with a renewed sense of awe. The hand of God is so beautiful!

"Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's." -Psalm 103:2-5 ESV  {SONG}

He has certainly done all of those things for me. But in Him giving me all these gifts, I've been drawn closer to the Giver. I don't just want what He has to offer, I want Him!
I'm so thankful for forgiveness. I love the Forgiver.
I'm astounded by His healing. I love the Healer.
He's redeemed me in more ways than one. I love the Redeemer.
He crowns me with love and mercy. I love the good King.
I am satisfied and renewed in Him. I love Him! 

I have had times, when this seemed my reality...

"Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. God, the Lord, is my strength; He makes my feet like the deer's; He makes me tread on my high places."-Habakkuk 3:17-19 ESV

At times when everything seemed wrong, when I had no answers, when I was extremely weak...
He was with me. He literally was my strength. He was the only solid rock for me to stand on when my world was crumbling. He held me together in His mighty, loving hands. How could I not be absolutely in love! He Himself is enough.

"Nevertheless, I am continually with You; You hold my right hand. You guide me with Your counsel, and afterward You will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever." -Psalm 73:23-26 ESV  

Photo credit: tungphoto

Fruit of the Lips

Last night I read a scripture in Isaiah that used the words "fruit of the lips". Then just this morning I read "the fruit of lips" in Hebrews. Both times, those phrases stood out to me. How odd that I would read that before bed, and then immediately when I woke up...once in the Hebrew Scriptures, and once in the New Testament.

I was intrigued, so I grabbed my Amplified Bible to see if it would help me understand those verses a little better. Both scriptures (in this version) included thankfulness and praise.

"...I create the fruit of his lips, and I will heal him [make his lips blossom anew with speech in thankful praise]." -Isaiah 57:19 

"Through Him, therefore, let us constantly and at all times offer up to God a sacrifice of praise, which is the fruit of lips that thankfully acknowledge and confess and glorify His name." -Hebrews 13:15

God is really doing a work in me, cultivating thankfulness in me. I find that I am praising Him more and more. But thankfulness is something to be practiced. It doesn't always come naturally.

My friend read this to me last night (from: A Holy Experience - How to find God in the Messes?)
"The discipline of thanks only comes with practice. When we practice giving thanks, we practice the presence of God, stay present to His presence, and it is always a practice of the eyes.
We don't have to change what we see. Only the way we see."

I want the fruit of my lips to be beautiful and real. Full of thankfulness and praise...constantly! I pray that they will crowd out the worthless words. Words of ungratefulness and complaining. I think that as I focus on thankfulness, that will happen. Overcoming by replacing. And all of this, by His grace!

Life is Happening!

I feel like with every child I have, time goes faster! I'm pregnant for the fifth time, and can hardly believe I'm almost into my second trimester already. I better make a doctor appointment soon :)

To be honest, I don't think much about the details of the miracle happening inside my body right now. I mostly notice that I am really hungry and tired, and my clothes are getting tight.

A couple days ago I stood in my pajamas looking at my profile in a full length mirror. It's really true...there's a baby growing in there!

I have one of those books that tells you what is happening to the little person developing inside your womb. It actually lists daily events.  So today my baby is 63 days old. He or she is currently developing fingernails, toenails, and hair follicles. And it says that the baby's facial expressions are already similar to mine and my husband's.

Whenever I read from this book, I am so enamored with all that is going on. I suddenly feel more connected with this person...that is very literally connected to me! It makes me want to eat well. Pray more. Slow down to embrace the miracle.

SweetHeart chasing a rainbow...on St. Patrick's Day :)

I had to ask myself...do I this often enough with my other children? Slow down to embrace the miracle of life happening all around me? Do I still study my children and what is happening in their lives as they grow and mature? Am I nurturing them with intention?

Of course I notice how the laundry piles up, the dishes need to be done, and there's food to be made! Sometimes I need to remind myself that it's because I'M MOTHERING A BUNCH OF BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN FOR THE GLORY OF GOD! Those messes can serve as reminders. Just like my expanding waist reminds me...LIFE IS HAPPENING!

Christ the Only Way

"Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6 ESV)  For some, this seems unfair. Why would God only provide one way of salvation? 

Please watch the entire video. There is a long pause near the end.
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"Then He opened their minds to understand the Scriptures, and said to them,'Thus it is written, that the Christ should suffer and on the third day rise from the dead, and that repentance and forgiveness of sins should be proclaimed in His name to all nations, beginning from Jerusalem." (Luke 24:45-47 ESV)

God of Comfort

Scripture calls Jesus a "man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief". Through Him we receive real comfort, because He understands. God is full of love and compassion.

Photo credit: Evgeni Dinev

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,

who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too." -2 Corinthians 1:3-5 ESV

One of the beautiful things that has come from experiencing hardship in my own life, is the love and compassion that He has developed in me for others who suffer. I feel like I can now genuinely speak true words of comfort from my heart, not just my head. And there are times when I don't have to say anything. Just be there. Or as scripture says, "weep with those who weep".

I am thankful to God for the people that He surrounded me with when I needed that kind of comfort. I am thankful for the way He comforted me in those moments when only He could really minister to my deepest needs. And I am thankful for opportunities to encourage others, with the love of Christ.

Written for Me

This morning I was reminded of a time several years ago. I was a new mom with a precious baby girl...and I was really missing my mom. She had passed away just a few years before my SweetHeart was born. I so badly wanted to hear her voice, and to touch her hands.

Somehow I came across my first journal, which I had started just before my 8th birthday. I was having fun reading all the things an 8 year old would write about. After I had finished reading a story I wrote about a piece of bubble gum...I turned a few pages to see my mom's handwriting! I couldn't believe it. I had no idea that was even in there.

I excitedly began reading, as tears poured down my face. She wrote it as if she were speaking to me. I could hear her voice in my head as I read of her great love for me. I can't tell you what a huge blessing that was. I knew without a doubt, it was a gift from God. Only He knew the desire of my heart. Only He knew what was in that journal. I am stunned at His love. He cares! He delights to give us good gifts.

So this morning I was reading John 17. Jesus praying. Praying for me.

I want to read His words as if they were written for me...because they are. I am so thankful that He has given me His Word, and the Holy Spirit. To guide me. To speak to me. To love me.

"Though you have not seen Him, you love him. Though you do not now see Him, you believe in Him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory," -1 Peter 1:8

me holding SweetHeart's hand

I can't even fathom seeing my Savior in the flesh. To touch the hands that were pierced and made new, to give me eternal life. The hands that have been holding me together all this time.

"For I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the last He will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been thus destroyed, yet in my flesh I shall see God, whom I shall see for myself and my eyes behold, and not another. My heart faints within me!" -Job 19:25-27  

You Revive Me

Yesterday my husband had me listen to this song. It is so beautiful. Because he was the one who gave it to me...I loved it even more :) As I listened to the song, I reflected on the trials we have walked through together. My heart was flooded with thankfulness to God that we could both sing this song. That He has done such good in the both of us. We've grown together, not apart. And together, we've grown closer to Jesus.

I love to worship the Lord with music! I love the way He ministers to me through music. So I just had to share this song. I really hope that you can find time...a quiet moment to listen. Worship Him.

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Seeing Clearly

I got my first pair of glasses when I was 8 years old. At that time, I could only see clearly within two feet of my face. I have terrible eyesight. I am extremely nearsighted.

Me in my first pair of glasses :)

The funny thing was that I didn't even know my eyes were bad. I just figured everybody saw the way I did! I remember the day my older sister got her first pair of glasses. I wanted to try them on for fun. I was completely shocked with what I saw! I couldn't believe all the fine lines on everything. Until that moment, I had no idea what I was missing.
   
Shortly after, I got my own glasses (which were actually much stronger than my sister's). I vividly remember walking outside for the first time with 20/20 vision. It was fall. The leaves on the trees took my breath away! I could see each and every leaf distinctly. The colors were amazing. It was a whole new world! At school I could actually see what the teacher was writing on the board, without having to walk up to it! I could go on and on, but what I'm getting at is seeing clearly changed my life.

I've been thinking about this lately in spiritual terms.  The more I read God's word, grow in intimacy with Him, trust Him, obey Him, the more I know Him, I SEE that HIS WAYS ARE RIGHT & GOOD! The fruit of righteousness brings real peace and joy...the kind that never ends.

For some reason our flesh wants to be our own God. We think we know what's best for us. And God must certainly be keeping good from us. Why else would he give us all these commands? Somehow we can make God a power hungry dictator who just wants to ruin our fun. Nothing could be further from the truth! 

He made us! He knows what is good for us. He wants to protect us. We are like children who want to go run out into the street...having no idea the danger. OUR NATURAL EYES DON'T SEE. The Holy Spirit opens our eyes to see the Truth and to love it...love Him. Only then do we see "a whole new world".

"Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of Your law." -Psalm 119:18

Psalm 19:7-11
The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul;
the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple;
the precepts of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart;
the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes;
the fear of the LORD is clean, enduring forever;
the rules of the LORD are true, and righteous altogether.
More to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold;
sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb.
Moreover, by them is Your servant warned;
in keeping them there is great reward.